The Striker’s Fear of the Open Goal

Get a life. Get the girl. Get to Wembley.

Ewan Glumie was born on the day Man City last won a trophy, and for 35 years it’s been failure for both of them. City have won nothing since, and he’s exiled in Birmingham, temping in a job he hates and living with an ex who hates him.

But success might be on the horizon.  City are heading for an FA Cup final and Ewan knows he has to get a ticket, get a career and get a girl before it happens or forever accept that he’s the jinx, and that the gloating ’35 Years’ banner at Old Trafford is more about him than City.

The Striker’s Fear of the Open Goal is a desperate, comic look at how a football team can be the most depressing thing in a man’s life… and the only thing worth living for.

PLEASE NOTE: This is NOT a Family Stand book! It’s about hard drinking men who like their football and swear a hell of a lot. It’s also about love and failure and passion and hope. But with swearing. Lots and lots of swearing.


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Praise by Man City fans

“This is our Fever Pitch.”

“In ten years’ time, when my son asks me what it was like to win that first trophy after 35 years, I’ll just give him your book and say ‘Here. Read this.'”

“A simple story of a man who has been floundering for quite some time and then decides take some chances and his life changes radically. There is the twist that this man’s life seems to parallel the fortune of the soccer team that has stomped on his heart for years. All in all it was done very well. If you are looking to liken it to something, think of a less sappy Nick Hornby.”

“Really enjoyed the book. You got some of the football so spot on and fantastic descriptions of Yaya’s goals.”

“Just read a great book about life as a blue paralleling life! Thoroughly enjoyed it! Thanks! Know loads who jibbed in at Wembley!”

“Started Striker’s Fear of the Open Goal on the train this morning. V impressed so far and nearly half way through. Not ashamed to say I got a little giddy reading the chapter about the semi-final.”

“I started reading it while waiting for a plane… and basically didn’t put it down again (aside from going through passport control) til I finished it later that same night…. 

“The description of Yaya Toure’s goal in the semi-final against United is some of the purest poetry I have ever read. It’s like one of Wordsworth’s spots of time, a writer opening a window between this world and paradise. Read it……

“The scene where the main character has a deep and meaningful conversation with his dad, while secretly paying more attention to us beating Tottenham on TV, is reminiscent of more moments in my life than I would admit to anywhere else than on this City board….

“The description of grudge temporary work in the modern office, which I reckon must be quite hard to capture in a novel, comes across like the eighth circle of Dante’s hell. I FEEL YOUR PAIN, EWAN.”

‘A wonderful encapsulation of the lows, highs and utter life affirming joy of our journey over the last 35 years supporting City. I am proud to have book that tells a lovely story and that captures part of my life!’

“I was in floods of tears with the Cup Final bit.”

“Very entertaining.”

“Absolutely mint.”

“Well worth a read — if only for his comments on Mark Hughes. And on Denise from Mongleton.”

“Just bought your book on itunes and didn’t draw breath til the final whistle of the semi… Brilliant. Utterly Brilliant.”

“Just a shit Colin Shindler.”

 

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